I’ve regenerated the sky again,
and now all that I can see
is the hemorrhaging of energy
where your star’s spot should be
You’re pretty and you’re wise
like the old young Queens of yore
You’ve bested me far better
but, really, who’s still keeping score?
I’ve entered your memory’s chateau,
with hands raised only as a show of peace
but still I am to be greeted by old guards
wearing wreaths bound with plate-armor grief
It is so very hard to write about us
and harder still even when I’ve tried
You wanted words that I have lost
Do trust that I’d give them otherwise
For we were born in, and of, a lust
A wordless dictum of a phallic quill
invalidating an expression via thrust
Things shifted, words became a must
So, hence, my dictation at your will:
My hand has so stayed from penning
in it’s patent, maybe well-worn, style,
words used previously in condemning
those whom I’ve now chosen to revile
I would seek, and as I’d claim rightly is your due,
to distance even your passing, fleeting mention,
but especially when the context is poetical review,
the notion that you conjure in my mind’s dimension
from the inferior attempts that preceded finding you,
to elevate it from their taint; immaculate ascension
These are words which needed saying that I willfully neglected
Truths, true as tautological, that I’d have still zealously rejected
Though now I feel a surge, a rush to which I’m easily subjected
as regularly as precious thoughts of you can be feasibly expected
I’ll start my scribing, damned be my constant want of the perfected,
long overdue is an appreciative appraisal being your way directed
I believe it to be so that nothing can be truly lost forever
but oft rather merely misplaced, transmuted or forgotten
Those few words of utterance, before ties were to sever,
might seem as if scattered to the wind, long since trodden,
by time’s fear inspiring tread, whence memories slowly rotten
But rather, to the contrary, they live on in a different manifestation
That moment’s words, and their vibrations in the surrounding air
transferred energy to the molecules around the vocalizations there
Subatomic oscillations carry the legacy of your meaning by causation
spreading through the world like the shedding and dispelling of a tear
does extirpate one’s sadness and sows it quite rightly anywhere but here
It travels onward like a vagrant, whom hasn’t any home
and must always roam in that aimless, almost flagrant
trawl of someone cast away in a sea topped with foam
frothing with all the concepts sown of emptiest dismay
Was it good that it even arose?
Now, it won’t cease I suppose
It may never reach a repose
What a thing to transpose
My eyes, at mine mind’s behest, continue a ceaseless scan,
wearied though they’re now, being nary so inclined to blink,
wide with fervent reverence, of my library’s immense span
Re-reading the archives of rotting parchment and fading ink
Words now so ancient as to seem sourced from another man
My poetry grows stale, regurgitated and copied
It is taking form of the forms of yesteryear’s folly
No longer is there pain for them to properly embody
Today is so very, very cold - in mood and temperature
Thinking of my yesterdays, they were always like that too
I try to picture warm thoughts - a burning effigy of you
Gauge frozen, zero lost; extraordinary becomes regular
Eyes watering, soon weeping, bleeding out my blue
Part I
First, a brief, but vitally important, letter to my past self,
so a younger me might find it and save my mental health,
it’s to be cast, once it is ‘bottled’, as far as possibly adrift
on the sea of time’s shifting tides amongst the cosmic rift!
”Oh, you must preserve your sight as if it were your mind,
and protect it by refraining from your prior profuse peeking
For though rampant curiosity is not likely to strike you blind,
what it is that your inquisitiveness will either come to find
is the honest, brutal revelations they have inked in keeping
with reasons good enough for the spurring of your weeping
or maybe you’ll discover jibes written with the malice of unkind
motives which memories and thoughts of you are now assigned
Ah, but curiosity! That such oft famed lethal cat enticement,
is so very likely to call to you so very kindly that my advisement
towards avoiding the piercing pains of an after-fact realizement
is still ostensibly to seem as an easily dismissed forethought
so even as you read what I resignedly write about our hindsight
being in your state of eager foolish stupor you’ll care for naught
You’re probably still longing after what it is you’ve so long sought”
So long contemplated, a final contingency I did dread,
a plan which was, sadly, utterly and truly my last resort
and though they’d no doubt think it crazy that I’d fled
there’d soon be but awful comprehension in my stead!
Since my flight if heralded they’d surely seek to thwart
Alone must I wordlessly escape the ever-nearing deluge
of a throughly diseased world; to a realm in lieu of ark
I will finally find sanctuary, and come to forge a refuge,
to secure mine own safety at a secret dwelling in the dark
Now, some time has passed, and I am finally content
My initial acclimatization was difficult but well assured
Spinal blades re-sharpened, I’ll continue my descent;
free-falling willingly is oft considered suicide ensured
The only constant here is that darkness has endured
Here, where your dirtied, sullied time is not allowed to go
Here, where the worldly axis is forcefully thrusted off-tilter
Here, where dimensionally the globe itself begins to slow
Here, where all is unnaturally still now, and darkness falls
Here, where black is so much blacker than any that you know
Here, where the resounding dark is so seemingly virus esque
Here, where twilight’s crass hospitality is reaching out to grow
Welcome to my humble writing blog. There's a lot to see here, if you care to see it. Enjoy your stay!
FEATURED WORK:
An Ode to an Abdicated Muse - A poem demonstrating my infatuation's huge capacity for aesthetic appreciation
A Sniper's Perch [REDUX] - A short story narrating the mechanical executions and detached ponderings and reflections of a lone Russian sniper during the brutal climax of WWII
The Last Bard’s Tale [REDUX]
An Epic Poetry series (in progress)
         Part One
You'll find Alexandria when the Dawn Commeth
A short story told from the perspective of a man facing his fast-approaching death. The narrative follows the struggles of two starcrossed lovers kept apart by wicked divine intervention.
         Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
         The Poem
         The Story