Posts tagged "Angst"
  1. Notes: 5 / 2 years ago 

    I see everything. For I am trapped in an invisible box, like a mime, whilst my peers pass by and look on ambivalently. Bemused at first, I watch them too. Time passes quickly in this nether realm, and soon, with only their progress to entertain me, juxtaposed with my immobility, I am no longer amused. In fact, I am moved by a jealousy too powerful for words. All-consuming. I pound soundlessly on the glass, but to no avail. Dull thuds which reverberate through the walls around me. Cracks finally appear. My heart swells. They fade, and vanish. I slump down against the side. It is mocking me.

    If my sentence is observation
    My prison; suspended animation
    I’ll drape cloak over my cage
    and shut my eyes in quiet rage
    until progress finds me; excavation
    I think maybe it’s a hallucination,
    this transparent mummification
    Alas pinches, they still hurt
    and pinches are given as burns
    in this exile, this hibernation

  2. Notes: 6 / 2 years ago 

    I wish I wasn’t so goddamn jealous…

    And I wish I could just wordlessly transmit a great number of certain facts about me to every cool new person I meet, so I could avoid the rigmarole of having to explain it all to them in due time and move on to the fun that happens after that waste of time, that period of endless back-and-forth.

    I wish I didn’t miss things. I wish I didn’t miss people.

    I really should give up on meeting new people right now.
    Just focus on making myself less of who I am now and more of who I want to be.

    The awesome is fading in the face of advancing life.

  3. Notes: 5 / 2 years ago 

    Conditional Small Print of a Antihero

    A life in poetry, said but breathlessly
    Identity drowned in wanton expression
    Impassioned ambition viewed restlessly
    This is a boy, and caress-less be he,
    whose comfort is reality repression
    His life measured to distressed degree
    A tidal wave consumes with depression

    To be always defiantly, proudly wrong
    to win, but quietly, no pretense strong
    Yet ramblingly, would, must, evoke
    a sorrowed haze, a frightful rage
    ego now this throughly bespoke

    Choosing instead to lose with style
    I beg your admiration for my trial
    In words of folly and said sincere
    Change is healing but found in fear

    'tis true, I imitate an artist's wit
    I sold my soul for, down the line
    a second chance to part with it
    In my holy prison I’m held divine
    till I steal away in my larking fit

    There can surely be no easy doubt
    of my dark tryst; a hallowed bout
    with creative demons and Hell’s tricks

    I cast out reflections of art; you feed
    off the nectar of the shimmer
    Of hope there is no glimmer
    I weave beautiful words out of greed

  4. Notes: 6 / 2 years ago 

    Everyday is Opposite Day

    I cherish my mistakes,
    hate my friends and
    seek approval from my enemies

  5. Notes: 7 / 2 years ago 

    Lost in space; float to stars

    // I find kinship with the flame.

    I fantasize, throw out branches, anchors and probing vines into the void, but I inevitably enter dark, frightening new lands as the journey progresses. I can see only as far as my inadequacies illuminate.

    // The light is fading - it flares with each new prospect, I must gravitate to them or succumb to the darkness.

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  6. Notes: 4 / 2 years ago 

    A glimpse into my creative past

    This is a poem I wrote during the hellish torment that was College, on my iPhone, usually whilst waiting for class to start and looking over the desperately douchey motherfuckers I was to share my prison with. So, it is appropriately dark and moody - almost embarrassingly so now but only in hindsight, at the time, such angst was certainly warranted. It does kind of read like something you would expect screamed during a heavy metal song.

    Anyway enjoy some old poetry, circa late 2010.

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This humble writing blog is where I unburden myself of the ideas which occupy my mind from time to time. It is that and nothing more, though also nothing less.

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